Learning not to be such a jerk. Learning to accept my imperfections and love my sharp edges. It's a humbling process to accept what a not nice person you are and BE willing to work towards change. Love always
Sometimes I think if "this" happened, I would be more compassionate. Or if I had "this" I would be a better person.
Apparently I am in need of an item to be become "whole." There is this fixation of not being complete....and I don't think it has to do with missing something. It has to do with my current status, my current being.
I am aware I need something else. It just so happens to be Jesus, but He's never my first choice.
"Cuz I know you’re God And you hold the key and you could get me out of here in a moment And that’s just the deal you aren’t getting me anywhere but here"
I guess there is good in writing (or typing) things out. I've come across many themes of "waiting" And I realized I've been waiting....for someone, something. And this waiting has been in vain, because the person I need to seek has no waiting room. There is no need to wait when I have access to Jesus...
"Cuz more than the answer, I need You Cuz more than the answer, I need YouIf this is what it takes to talk to You, let it be"
Something I have been struggling with lately is social media. I usually download the app every Friday and delete it every Sunday. Or if I really want to upload something, I delete the app immediately after. To crush the thoughts concerning how many "likes" or comments I've received. I'm pretty good about going "cold turkey" about things. Fasting on sweets, BAM! No candy for weeks.....but social media is hard to quit, I've come to find. key word: social. It's a way to be social, and I like it. If you don't have an online presence....then who are you, really? I know all the benefits of social media, it truly is a gift. Being able to stay in touch with family and friends who don't live near. It's awesome! No calling card needed! But I realize it's left a negative affect on me... 1. It makes me unproductive 2. I am continually comparing myself to others(see #4) 3. Distracts me 4. It makes me unhappy (see #2) THIS SEASON IS FOR ME. MADE FOR ME. I WAS MADE FOR THIS SEASON. Who am I kidding. I need this season but I find myself avoiding it because of this thing called social media. For a while I didn't know what to pray about. I thought I was just "fine"...but I as soon as I deleted that app, it clicked, the light bulb turned on. I was comparing myself to others. Their lives, their joys, their events. "Our awareness drives our discontentment" I was happier when I didn't know....ignorance IS bliss. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. Galatians 6:4
My prayer for me right now is for a new vision in this season. New eyes, so I don't find myself comparing to others. New eyes to focus on Jesus. Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5 I'm taking small doses of social media...this is what works for me.
Do yourself a favor, listen to this teaching: http://vimeo.com/92796507 Robert Madu hit the nail on the head.
I was watching this documentary on Jean Michele-Basquiat, and of course with every good documentary there is montage of the person's life through photographs, old video clips and instead of a sappy song they chose to recite Langston Hughes poem "Genius Child"
This is a song for the genius child. Sing it softly, for the song is wild. Sing it softly as ever you can - Lest the song get out of hand. Nobody loves a genius child. Can you love an eagle, Tame or wild? Can you love an eagle, Wild or tame? Can you love a monster Of frightening name? Nobody loves a genius child. Kill him - and let his soul run wild.
Here's to running wild on this blog. A place to explore oneself. Much of the posts will deal with simple joys, christian spirituality and of course nonsensical ramblings.